Auburn
by ombresmoke
Summary: Beca reflects on her and Chloe's relationship. Everything that went right and the one thing that went wrong. One-Shot. Bechloe.


"There are no happy endings.  
Endings are the saddest part,  
So just give me a happy middle  
And a very happy start."

As a teenager, Beca had been an extrovert. She didn't believed the happy endings in movies, in her head everything was flawless. Beca liked flawless. It had made her feel at home and in control. She could not leave the volume at an uneven number without getting paranoid to change it back, her shirts had to be ironed, you never know who you meet, right? And most importantly, everyone she met stayed the way they were, that is probably why her friends were so fond of her. Beca was inevitably a likeable person, however she didn't act upon it. A close circle of friends was perfect.

On her fifteenth birthday, she was gifted a copy of "The Great Gatsby". It was her favourite book since, she had worn it out so much and underlined so many quotes, the thing was falling apart a page at a time. On Beca's 18th birthday everything changed. When her mother passed away she searched her beloved book for advice, for answers. Why wasn't _everything_ flawless? Her father waited until Beca went to university until he decided to marry again and Beca felt the betrayal- just like Gatsby did. The day she seen her father for the last time, she stopped believing love existed and would had sworn no force in the universe could change her mind.

After doing her degree, Beca decided to leave everything behind, friends, family, painful memories. She needed to start fresh, to escape. The chosen destination was New York. That was where her life began.

She made herself at home, taking over a bench in the park with her large earphones keeping any possible sounds away. It was the beginning of fall and all leaves turned shades of auburns and yellows. Auburn was her favourite colour. Her head was balanced on her right arm, her mind full of thoughts which were too painful to spend a longer while on. She was just after turning thirty-four living alone with a job she was _satisfied_ with and nobody to share her morning coffee with, anymore.

 _"These hearts adore  
Everyone the other beats hardest for  
Inside this place is warm  
Outside it starts to pour"_

They were in love. God, if Beca could find a better word for it. It was everything people search for their entire lives. Affection, devotion, yearning for each other's touch at all times of day, passion. It was all there. It was the first bite of a high calorie meal after you've been doing excellent at eating healthy for three months. It was like a successful first date, done _over_ and _over_ and _over_ again. It was like opening a Christmas present knowing it is what you've been asking your parents for since September. It was _everything,_ and much more.

They met in October. Everything was colder, wetter and darker, yet Auburn still managed to make Beca feel like she was swimming in a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

 _"Beca had spent the last two days looking for a suitable Halloween costume, some girl from work- Amy who was certainly an interesting individual, had decided to host a party to celebrate the night of the dead, or as Beca called it, an excuse to get terribly drunk and remember nothing the next day._

 _After questioning in her mind why exactly she agreed to come again, she made her way through the local Walmart- and no, Beca was not a big fan of that either. Yeah, the prices were awesome, but watching middle aged women strangle each other over the last pair of furry crocs wasn't her idea of fun. She examined the shelves, Halloween was tomorrow and she had literally nothing. After rummaging through witch hat's and jack-o-lanterns she spotted the last tinkerbell costume. "In my size too! God bless you Walmart", she thought with her common smirk which was certainly becoming her "label" as Amy called it. She reached for the parcel when her own hand colliding with another, much softer, warmer one. I mean what Mitchell? As soon as she pulled away holding the damn thing she pulled her I'm-a-badass-despite-my-height face. "Back off lady! I had it first" Was she_ _ **really**_ _becoming a Walmart victim right now? The other girl looked directly at her, with her eyes sparkling,laughing. "You can have it, it would probably hardly cover my ass, is it a kid's size or am I exceptionally tall?" Beca's face turned bright red. "What the hell is wrong with you Mitchell?" she thought. Yeah, the woman was probably (definitely) the most beautiful person Beca had ever seen but just because her palms got sweaty, her breathing hollowed and her stomach turned it wasn't okay to hit on someone in Walmart out of all places. The brunette quickly fixed herself up and smiled at the girl, about to turn around and head to pay for the costume, when the same soft, warm hand grabbed her arm, causing Beca's anxiety to go from a 10 to a 50 in a heartbeat._

 _Auburn smiled shyly. "My name is Chloe, would you want to get coffee sometime?"_

 _"I knew  
The first day that I met you  
I was never gonna let you,  
Let you slip away._

And I  
Still remember feeling nervous  
Trying to find the words to  
Get you here today."

Beca sighed. She hated fall now. Everything was dull, and the Holiday season had emphasized her loneliness. Amy would annually invite Beca for Christmas dinner with her parents, she had done this for the last four years. Ever since she didn't hear Beca saying Chloe's name anymore. And the small girl always politely appeared, even for an hour or two, but for the past four years, each Christmas and each New Year's Eve resulted the same. Beca on her couch with a glass (bottle) of wine, leftover pizza and her headphones on, listening the her mixes. Actually, a specific playlist, labeled simply "Auburn." Her eyes carefully outlined each person walking past her. She was cold, and the park was getting spooky- not that Beca was scared, she just wasn't really in the mood to get attacked that day. She decided to make one stop before she went to her not much warmer apartment.

 _"This really is the best anniversary, Becs" Chloe smiled, resting her head on Beca's shoulder. "And exactly how many have you had Chlo?" Beca replies with a smirk. Chloe giggled, "None until this one, but I'm hoping for- I don't know, sixty more? If you're up for it?" They smiled at each other. They weren't a typical relationship, whatever that meant. After a year they were still in the first stage, the "Romance Stage" if you'd like. They still had butterflies in the pits of their stomachs, went on romantic dates under the stars and ran into photo booths to take the completely cliché love-birds photographs. Chloe opened Beca up like nobody ever before. The shell disappeared with no trace, the skeleton of the girl she met was now filled with flesh, and neither could be happier,_ _ **ever.**_

 _"You know, I've been thinking.." Chloe looked up at Beca, who now had a nervous smile on her face. Chloe laughed. "Don't worry! I'm not gonna ask you to have a baby, yet." Beca playfully punched Chloe's shoulder, which rewarded her with a big smile followed by a giggle- a Chloe giggle. "If y-you're up for it, maybe I could bring my stuff over to your place, and, you know, keep it th-" Beca cut her off with a pro-longed kiss. The best kind of kiss. The brunette smiled. "I love you, Auburn." "I love you too, Becs."_

Beca made her way to her car. New York was polluted with parks, large and small. But Beca hated to be home on her own, though, deliberately driving for twenty minutes to get to her favourite one, where her and Chloe went on their first proper date. It began to rain, and the little dots of rain settled on the front window of her little red car- Chloe had insisted they bought a Beattle, and of course Beca couldn't say no. The rain resembled teardrops. Soon not only the window had been wet, but so was Beca's porcelain face. She roughly wiped the tears away, focusing on making the right turn. After a no longer than fifteen-minute drive, she pulled up beside a large gate and stepped out into the puddle.

 _"The guests heard the slow music, as the bride's face lit up immediately after the door opened. Beca nervously played with her fingers, her heart about to burst out of her chest. The flowers she had been holding- lilies, smelled beautiful. The whole ceremony was just that. She looked around the large room. The porcelain was as delicate as Auburn's touch the first time they met. The room smelt of flowers and champagne with a touch of lavender- the smell of Auburn's beloved shampoo. The music was peaceful and calming- like Auburn's personality. When Auburn entered, everybody's head turned. The only eyes that were focused on Beca for the entire time- the only eyes that mattered, were Auburn's. It seemed like she didn't even blink, in order to watch her love carefully, memorizing every detail. Their snow white dresses reminded Chloe of the time she forces Beca to build each other as snow-women on Christmas day. Despite the brunette's grimacing she was eventually persuaded. The photo of snow-Beca and snow-Chloe hung in their.. Beca's apartment above the bed. "I do" was all Beca could breathe out, still shocked a being so beautiful, so perfect, could be hers. Forever."_

 _"We keep this love in this photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Our hearts were never broken  
Times forever frozen still"_

The rain had subsided for a while, with only small drops falling from the large oak tree above Beca's head. She carefully sat at the little bench beside the gravestone. She lifted out old flowers out of the glass vase- a wedding gift from Chloe's sister and replaced it with the fresh collection of lilies. The brunette scanned the writing on the stone, which she had memorized by now back to front.

 _"To my miracle and wife, Chloe Mitchell_

 _Died January 1st, 2012_

 _Forever in my heart"_

Letting out a small smile, Beca looked up at the sky. "Happy anniversary, Auburn."

 _"I will remember how you kissed me  
Under the lamppost  
Back on 6th street  
Hearing you whisper through the phone,  
Wait for me to come home."_


End file.
